Oh yeah I did.
So now that I have won the bet I feel the burden has finally lifted off of my shoulders. So now I can blog freely and somewhat evil-ly about Parker and his fate.
The Yule Ball. He has to dress up like a character of my choosing. So let's get brainstorming here people. Here are my first ideas. I know I will have a lot more to add to this, but I wanted to get the ball a-rollin'...
Sirus Black- Honestly I just think this one is for the ladies so Parker can show off his manly chest.
Dumbledore all gay-ed out. I'm not sure what this looks like, but we could gay it up.
Lucious Malfoy- honestly, Parker in a long blond wig would be really funny.
Hermione. Pre-hottness--think book 3 and earlier.
Professor Trelawny- this would just be funny. PERIOD. FUNNY.
Ideas?
Monday, November 03, 2008
Saturday, November 01, 2008
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November and its Glory
Hooray for November. I woke up this morning feeling a little achy, but in all honesty I felt rather renewed. I feel like I'm alive again! While traditionally I love October more than any other month, I would have to say this feeling inside me today tells me I am going to love November with all my heart this year. Here are a few reasons why it is going to be the bomb-diggity:
I can finally freely discuss Harry Potter and know I am champion.
I am now (nearly) the same age as my wife.
I have made it through the longest month of teaching (well in the fall at least, there is still March--yuck).
I get three days off this month--correction, 4 days off.
There is no BTSA meeting on the second Tuesday, well there is a tech training just before Thanksgiving but at least it has to do with using our new Report Card system.
The rainy season will be upon us. (though my wife feels like this is a false statement, she doubts the power of prayer)
We get to elect a new president and hear people complain about the voting system in Florida.
Depending on who wins Rosie will be very talkative about her political persuasions.
All in all, especially with my victory over Parker this will be a great month of bountiful blessings. Here's to November, possibly my new favorite month.
I can finally freely discuss Harry Potter and know I am champion.
I am now (nearly) the same age as my wife.
I have made it through the longest month of teaching (well in the fall at least, there is still March--yuck).
I get three days off this month--correction, 4 days off.
There is no BTSA meeting on the second Tuesday, well there is a tech training just before Thanksgiving but at least it has to do with using our new Report Card system.
The rainy season will be upon us. (though my wife feels like this is a false statement, she doubts the power of prayer)
We get to elect a new president and hear people complain about the voting system in Florida.
Depending on who wins Rosie will be very talkative about her political persuasions.
All in all, especially with my victory over Parker this will be a great month of bountiful blessings. Here's to November, possibly my new favorite month.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Not for your eyes
(Parker, you may not read this blog)
Ladies and Gentlemen. I am calling upon you to gain your support, your love, and your man power. In 20 days Parker will have lost the bet, but in 20 days much can happen.
I could possibly slip and sing a Potter Tune. Mention a man who slips behind a curtain. Or perhaps even blurt about a boy wizard. Please, if you see me refrain from discussion about the boy who lived. Keep me accountable so in a few short weeks Mr. Parker will need to read all 7 books and then attend the Yule Ball where he will dress as any character I select. I fear his (that is Parker's) devilish trickery will be in full force during these next three weeks, so I shall be on guard.
This is my hope, my dream, and my one year goal. Hey, I only made 4 slips. One more and I'll be out. Help me out here people.
Here's to the boy who lived and the boy who will need to read the books.
Ladies and Gentlemen. I am calling upon you to gain your support, your love, and your man power. In 20 days Parker will have lost the bet, but in 20 days much can happen.
I could possibly slip and sing a Potter Tune. Mention a man who slips behind a curtain. Or perhaps even blurt about a boy wizard. Please, if you see me refrain from discussion about the boy who lived. Keep me accountable so in a few short weeks Mr. Parker will need to read all 7 books and then attend the Yule Ball where he will dress as any character I select. I fear his (that is Parker's) devilish trickery will be in full force during these next three weeks, so I shall be on guard.
This is my hope, my dream, and my one year goal. Hey, I only made 4 slips. One more and I'll be out. Help me out here people.
Here's to the boy who lived and the boy who will need to read the books.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Back on the Carpet
Oy. I am exhausted. I have been running that Charter School like a MAD man. But in addition to that I have also been living Life in the E! Lane as my lovely bride and I went down south to the 60th Emmy Awards... It was pretty much amazing. We were a little sad at first, our tickets were downgraded to Red Carpet, but it all worked smashingly in the end... Here are the sights.
Now here is my run down. Just pretend I am on E! and I have my daughter sitting next to me. Also pretend I am a crotchety old woman with lots of plastic surgery, who in my estimation, is hilarious.
The best couple award goes to:
The best of the worst hosts at the Emmy's goes to:
Person I pretended to like in order to get a picture of goes to:
Stupidest couple goes to (sorry Morgen):
Most classic goes to:
Best display of classic Shaw Family TV mom goes to:
Best old person falling down on the Red Carpet, but still keeping a good face goes to:
Best dressed of the night (seriously she is striking in person), who put her hand up to wave when I yelled her name goes to:
Best person named after a religious follower goes to:
Best Office person who I can only note as the one who gets her cast signed goes to (and Office friend):
Best contestant from a reality show who is a hoot in person goes to:
Best Office Make-Over goes to:
Best over-rated male on the carpet goes to:
Best Office character, hands down, goes to:
Best man who is likely to take my wife goes to:
Best straight person turned lesbian turned Emmy nominee goes to:
Best Office Person on the carpet goes to:
Best 90's TV Superhero Co-star goes to:
Best example of citrus on the carpet goes to:
LIZ LEMON!
Worst person on the carpet goes to:
There it is. The Emmy Awards!
Now here is my run down. Just pretend I am on E! and I have my daughter sitting next to me. Also pretend I am a crotchety old woman with lots of plastic surgery, who in my estimation, is hilarious.
The best couple award goes to:
The best of the worst hosts at the Emmy's goes to:
Person I pretended to like in order to get a picture of goes to:
Stupidest couple goes to (sorry Morgen):
Most classic goes to:
Best display of classic Shaw Family TV mom goes to:
Best old person falling down on the Red Carpet, but still keeping a good face goes to:
Best dressed of the night (seriously she is striking in person), who put her hand up to wave when I yelled her name goes to:
Best person named after a religious follower goes to:
Best Office person who I can only note as the one who gets her cast signed goes to (and Office friend):
Best contestant from a reality show who is a hoot in person goes to:
Best Office Make-Over goes to:
Best over-rated male on the carpet goes to:
Best Office character, hands down, goes to:
Best man who is likely to take my wife goes to:
Best straight person turned lesbian turned Emmy nominee goes to:
Best Office Person on the carpet goes to:
Best 90's TV Superhero Co-star goes to:
Best example of citrus on the carpet goes to:
LIZ LEMON!
Worst person on the carpet goes to:
There it is. The Emmy Awards!
Friday, August 15, 2008
The Truth
Well, no, I haven't done the 601 blog yet. Reason being I have been uber busy with my school web page, start up, meetings, and teacher blogging. So I do apologize to those of you (probably only Parker) who have been waiting in nervous anticipation over 600 1/2, but you'll still have to wait. Now for some news...
I have been following the regiment. I know... Get this. I have been exercising for a solid 4 weeks as of Monday. This was all Parker's grand idea, yet I have yet to see Parker exercise with me. The daily routine started like this:
1/2 mile run
1/2 mile walk
10 push ups
25 sit ups
25 leg lifts on each side
Now one week three I doubled like this:
1 mile run
1 mile walk
20 push ups
50 sit ups
50 leg lifts on each side
and
20 different types of weight lifting positions
On Monday I will double or add another half to it.. I have yet to hear from Parker what to do next. So, I have finally decided to share because normally when I say I will do something like this I don't do much, but now I have, I can proclaim it! So there it is.
Own it!
I have been following the regiment. I know... Get this. I have been exercising for a solid 4 weeks as of Monday. This was all Parker's grand idea, yet I have yet to see Parker exercise with me. The daily routine started like this:
1/2 mile run
1/2 mile walk
10 push ups
25 sit ups
25 leg lifts on each side
Now one week three I doubled like this:
1 mile run
1 mile walk
20 push ups
50 sit ups
50 leg lifts on each side
and
20 different types of weight lifting positions
On Monday I will double or add another half to it.. I have yet to hear from Parker what to do next. So, I have finally decided to share because normally when I say I will do something like this I don't do much, but now I have, I can proclaim it! So there it is.
Own it!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
600!
A note to readers-Please comment on this blog detailing how it has changed, molded and enriched your life.
A note to Parker- You shouldn't read this blog, you've been warned.
"But their laptops will block out the sun! Then we shall blog in the shade!"
PLUS
EQUALS
"THIS IS MADNESS!
No! THIS IS BLOGGING!"
This is the journey of one man, one blog, and six-hundred posts---today! So I will recount the high or low lights of my blog.
I first blogged 4 years ago about a guy named Mike Parker. Days later I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled and missing work, where I use to make up ridiculous stories to keep kids safe (i.e. "If you don't take that ball out of your mouth you'll swallow it and it will get stuck in your throat." as I pointed to my adam's apple). Oh the good old days of making up stories.
I went to visit places a lot back then. I recall "Represent 619" at "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" in California Adventure. Darn it, I almost made it to the show. One time I even went with the Swensons to Disneyland. They took me because they felt bad that my car was broken into. That was nice...
I also went up to see K and J in San Jose... There I saw Lisa and her then boyfriend... Or as I called him "Lisa's bugger of a boyfriend, Kyle." But as bugger-y as he was, I really liked him, and still do. Lucky them they were my first blog picture...
Time went on... and Christmas came upon us. I got this fantastic art set from K and J. I even painted this painting the day after Christmas. But to this date I don't know where it went. Someone moved it, took it, or threw it out. If you have it, please let me know, I was rather fond of the background wash.
Time went on, I called Tanya the "Chinese Woman", Carrie and I broke up, and Parker swears I almost killed him on the 405 interchange.
I was delighting in the preschool world by creating amazing classroom set ups...
And awesome customized furniture (again, I think this is missing too)...
And then I became good friends with a man who would later show up as a cardboard cutout to my wedding. With his friendship I re-indulged in movies and decided to make my Oscar parties bigger...
Susie's friend won the prize package, which just broke my heart, but it was great fun nonetheless.
I used phrases like "I done went and peed in my pants." and I started writing a story about a kid named Brandon Boxer (still working on it to this day). I referenced life as "Life in the Anti-Car Pool Lane" as I was single and enjoying my singlehood. I became addicted to 24 (thanks to Parker), bought a girlfriend (aka My Apple), and then headed up with Li to fix up the room for Cass... Well we thought we were decorating but then...
A month or less later the Cass was born! We all jetted up quickly to see the little tot! SO Cute!
A couple of days down the road my dad retired and we all were there to celebrate (K and J were on video--poor K sounded funny on the video--well she had been in labor for 20 some-odd hours and was still exhausted from the Cass)...
Then the unexpected happened and I moved out. Corbina was my new home. I was a little uneasy my first night there... After a few months I would move back home, but all in all I really had a good time there.
Then the expected happened. Susie turned 30 in grand Hollywood style. Probably the best themed birthday party I've ever been to. Thirty, curvy, and thriving...
Parker then was baptized and given a dunking party a la Corbina. At this point, Parker, you need to stop reading this blog...
Then an amazing thing happened and the Kiniry Clan, who back in the early days of Ig were a part of his life, resurfaced as The Burrow. Li attended the first Burrow and we all became family again...
So, time went by. Ig, Jon and Morgen were talking one night and came up with a great Coffee House idea---The international Facility of Coffee. It would sell millions. Ky had a great plan and called up Ig, who quickly made up a story about a girl who wears too much deodorant, and set off to help Ky plan the perfect engagement...
Parker was such an amazing friend to me and celebrated my completion of my Bachelor's degree in SLO style. And Li, who was now engaged to Ky, and Ig, who had met the most amazing girl he had ever set eyes on the day of Li's engagement, had an idea to go to NYC with a group of characters: Li, Ig, Parker, Tu, and Henners. And guess what? It happened!
Not only did they go to NYC but Ig got to meet the Broadway Diva of his dreams...
After NYC's amazing-ness (reference the video in Serendipity please). Ig jumped in his car and drove to a person who he had only heard of "Mimi". And then to the greatest, most magical first dates ever...
During this time of year the Ig met a guy named Kaleb, who shared his intensity and zeal for life. The two joined together to use their superpowers for Narnia, writing, tea and checkers.
Upon return (again, Parker, I've already asked to you stop reading), he rejoined the Burrow for some Yule-tide fun! This time all the Shaws were in on the act.
Then Christmas and Hanukkah came upon us and Ig gave Cass the first gift of Hanukkah...
Kaleb inspired great ideas is Ig...
Following some great decisions to date a girl from down south who would soon be known as the Fauf. Following this monumental decision Li and Ky made a bigger decision to get married in the Feb. with a little help from a girl in cart...
Parker and Ig rekindled their friendship to epic proportions and came across a Queen who asked "Is it your birthday?"
The Oscar Party turned out to be a gay old time...
Mandri reminded her teacher to "Stop spreading lies." And the Fauf's birthday was celebrated in style in SLO and Santa Maria...
America then made a horrible choice. Choosing this...
Over this...
We all know that Hicks is really this guy...
And somewhere down the line Parker graduated...
I then took my investment and got myself my Disneyland Pass and used it to the best of my abilities. (Sigh-remember when gas was only a buck something...)
Elizabeth and Susie were a hoot at Disney. Although rumor has it Parker had a cursed day...
The Drazin's were ridiculously funny at Disney...
Then, lurking in the shadows, they invaded the house! Paul and his cronies! They took over, and made over.
Sometime went by, my relationship with Fauf grew stronger and I started to realize something very special about her... I knew she was the ONE! That's right I knew she was the Phoenix!
Sometime over that summer when I had that realization that Fauf was the Phoenix I surprised even myself and went on X at Magic Mountain. Yup, I admit it, I let out a few potty words, but hey--at least I did it.
A few days later I headed up north (again, those darn gas prices!) to celebrate Cass' 1st Birthday!
Parker didn't dig it, but he did dig a hole on church property...
And then the thinkable happened! I MOVED OUT AGAIN! But then the UNTHINKABLE happened. FARAH MOVED IN TO TOWN! I was overwhelmed and totally excited! She came in a U-Haul with her Lisa and started living it up mad style with J Lou. I started my life in the Black Pearl (note to readers-this is one of two times that the Pearl was actually clean)...
Halloween Came and The Cass was a spider...
The Fauf was a Laura and I was a Jeffery...
But more importantly that night I snuck a treat into Fauf's house declaring my love for all that is Fauf (The treat still sits on a shelf in our house)... I suppose opening my heart to love opened my heart to loving more than just a Fauf. It was only a month later, while working as a student teacher in Mother Hen's class, that I declared my love for... Well I think you can see...
I shall stop here for now, for I have been blogging for well over an hour. But I will come back to chronicle the journey from singlehood to marriage in my next entry... For this has been...
600!
Final Thoughts:
They told me, "There will be no glory in your blog. I will erase even the memory of your blog from the histories! Every piece of Bling Blang Blog shall be burned. Every blog historian, and every blogger shall have their eyes pulled out, and their tongues cut from their mouths. Why, uttering the very name of blogs, or IgMaster, will be punishable by death! The world will never know you existed at all!"
But I say, "The world will know that free men stood against a blogless-tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this blog was over, even a god-king can read the blog."
A note to Parker- You shouldn't read this blog, you've been warned.
"But their laptops will block out the sun! Then we shall blog in the shade!"
PLUS
EQUALS
"THIS IS MADNESS!
No! THIS IS BLOGGING!"
This is the journey of one man, one blog, and six-hundred posts---today! So I will recount the high or low lights of my blog.
I first blogged 4 years ago about a guy named Mike Parker. Days later I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled and missing work, where I use to make up ridiculous stories to keep kids safe (i.e. "If you don't take that ball out of your mouth you'll swallow it and it will get stuck in your throat." as I pointed to my adam's apple). Oh the good old days of making up stories.
I went to visit places a lot back then. I recall "Represent 619" at "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" in California Adventure. Darn it, I almost made it to the show. One time I even went with the Swensons to Disneyland. They took me because they felt bad that my car was broken into. That was nice...
I also went up to see K and J in San Jose... There I saw Lisa and her then boyfriend... Or as I called him "Lisa's bugger of a boyfriend, Kyle." But as bugger-y as he was, I really liked him, and still do. Lucky them they were my first blog picture...
Time went on... and Christmas came upon us. I got this fantastic art set from K and J. I even painted this painting the day after Christmas. But to this date I don't know where it went. Someone moved it, took it, or threw it out. If you have it, please let me know, I was rather fond of the background wash.
Time went on, I called Tanya the "Chinese Woman", Carrie and I broke up, and Parker swears I almost killed him on the 405 interchange.
I was delighting in the preschool world by creating amazing classroom set ups...
And awesome customized furniture (again, I think this is missing too)...
And then I became good friends with a man who would later show up as a cardboard cutout to my wedding. With his friendship I re-indulged in movies and decided to make my Oscar parties bigger...
Susie's friend won the prize package, which just broke my heart, but it was great fun nonetheless.
I used phrases like "I done went and peed in my pants." and I started writing a story about a kid named Brandon Boxer (still working on it to this day). I referenced life as "Life in the Anti-Car Pool Lane" as I was single and enjoying my singlehood. I became addicted to 24 (thanks to Parker), bought a girlfriend (aka My Apple), and then headed up with Li to fix up the room for Cass... Well we thought we were decorating but then...
A month or less later the Cass was born! We all jetted up quickly to see the little tot! SO Cute!
A couple of days down the road my dad retired and we all were there to celebrate (K and J were on video--poor K sounded funny on the video--well she had been in labor for 20 some-odd hours and was still exhausted from the Cass)...
Then the unexpected happened and I moved out. Corbina was my new home. I was a little uneasy my first night there... After a few months I would move back home, but all in all I really had a good time there.
Then the expected happened. Susie turned 30 in grand Hollywood style. Probably the best themed birthday party I've ever been to. Thirty, curvy, and thriving...
Parker then was baptized and given a dunking party a la Corbina. At this point, Parker, you need to stop reading this blog...
Then an amazing thing happened and the Kiniry Clan, who back in the early days of Ig were a part of his life, resurfaced as The Burrow. Li attended the first Burrow and we all became family again...
So, time went by. Ig, Jon and Morgen were talking one night and came up with a great Coffee House idea---The international Facility of Coffee. It would sell millions. Ky had a great plan and called up Ig, who quickly made up a story about a girl who wears too much deodorant, and set off to help Ky plan the perfect engagement...
Parker was such an amazing friend to me and celebrated my completion of my Bachelor's degree in SLO style. And Li, who was now engaged to Ky, and Ig, who had met the most amazing girl he had ever set eyes on the day of Li's engagement, had an idea to go to NYC with a group of characters: Li, Ig, Parker, Tu, and Henners. And guess what? It happened!
Not only did they go to NYC but Ig got to meet the Broadway Diva of his dreams...
After NYC's amazing-ness (reference the video in Serendipity please). Ig jumped in his car and drove to a person who he had only heard of "Mimi". And then to the greatest, most magical first dates ever...
During this time of year the Ig met a guy named Kaleb, who shared his intensity and zeal for life. The two joined together to use their superpowers for Narnia, writing, tea and checkers.
Upon return (again, Parker, I've already asked to you stop reading), he rejoined the Burrow for some Yule-tide fun! This time all the Shaws were in on the act.
Then Christmas and Hanukkah came upon us and Ig gave Cass the first gift of Hanukkah...
Kaleb inspired great ideas is Ig...
Following some great decisions to date a girl from down south who would soon be known as the Fauf. Following this monumental decision Li and Ky made a bigger decision to get married in the Feb. with a little help from a girl in cart...
Parker and Ig rekindled their friendship to epic proportions and came across a Queen who asked "Is it your birthday?"
The Oscar Party turned out to be a gay old time...
Mandri reminded her teacher to "Stop spreading lies." And the Fauf's birthday was celebrated in style in SLO and Santa Maria...
America then made a horrible choice. Choosing this...
Over this...
We all know that Hicks is really this guy...
And somewhere down the line Parker graduated...
I then took my investment and got myself my Disneyland Pass and used it to the best of my abilities. (Sigh-remember when gas was only a buck something...)
Elizabeth and Susie were a hoot at Disney. Although rumor has it Parker had a cursed day...
The Drazin's were ridiculously funny at Disney...
Then, lurking in the shadows, they invaded the house! Paul and his cronies! They took over, and made over.
Sometime went by, my relationship with Fauf grew stronger and I started to realize something very special about her... I knew she was the ONE! That's right I knew she was the Phoenix!
Sometime over that summer when I had that realization that Fauf was the Phoenix I surprised even myself and went on X at Magic Mountain. Yup, I admit it, I let out a few potty words, but hey--at least I did it.
A few days later I headed up north (again, those darn gas prices!) to celebrate Cass' 1st Birthday!
Parker didn't dig it, but he did dig a hole on church property...
And then the thinkable happened! I MOVED OUT AGAIN! But then the UNTHINKABLE happened. FARAH MOVED IN TO TOWN! I was overwhelmed and totally excited! She came in a U-Haul with her Lisa and started living it up mad style with J Lou. I started my life in the Black Pearl (note to readers-this is one of two times that the Pearl was actually clean)...
Halloween Came and The Cass was a spider...
The Fauf was a Laura and I was a Jeffery...
But more importantly that night I snuck a treat into Fauf's house declaring my love for all that is Fauf (The treat still sits on a shelf in our house)... I suppose opening my heart to love opened my heart to loving more than just a Fauf. It was only a month later, while working as a student teacher in Mother Hen's class, that I declared my love for... Well I think you can see...
I shall stop here for now, for I have been blogging for well over an hour. But I will come back to chronicle the journey from singlehood to marriage in my next entry... For this has been...
600!
Final Thoughts:
They told me, "There will be no glory in your blog. I will erase even the memory of your blog from the histories! Every piece of Bling Blang Blog shall be burned. Every blog historian, and every blogger shall have their eyes pulled out, and their tongues cut from their mouths. Why, uttering the very name of blogs, or IgMaster, will be punishable by death! The world will never know you existed at all!"
But I say, "The world will know that free men stood against a blogless-tyrant, that few stood against many, and before this blog was over, even a god-king can read the blog."
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