When the dog bites, when the bee stings...

Well I am thinking perhaps sharing all of my favorite things has left some of you, who though you have no real reason to be but you are, sad. So I decided to share the dark side of Michael Shaw and let you know some of the things that make me feel bad.

In other words it is time for: Michael's Least Favorite Things

Beans.

I think they are stupid and annoying and I think the world would be a happier place without them. What person wants to eat these things?

Graffiti.

I am sick of seeing it everywhere in Orcutt. It should stop soon or I'm going to move--Oh wait I live in Santa Maria where there is no graffiti. Who is responsible for these kids?

Britney Spears.
Honestly people, will you sign my petition to boycott all things Britney? Let's give this girl the chance of a life again by turning off the TV when they talk about her and not visiting web pages associated with her or her knocked up sister (with this one post being the exception).

Quantum Physics.

It is the weirdest and silliest thing I have ever studied in my life. What goober created this stuff? This woman featured is either: a) A total looney b) A huge Con-Artist c) Under demonic oppression or d) All of the above. She believes she is the channel for Ramtha, this spirit thing... And because of this movie I saw she is NOW one of the 6 poster children for QPs. Don't even ask... I had to watch a video about her and her-like-minded quantum physicists for three hours once.

Small Bathtubs.

Honestly why even install a tub if it is going to be too small for a regular sized human to lay in. Who made these things?

Mustard.

What is this stuff? I don't even understand how it is made, nor do I understand why it has such a fowl odor. That is some rank bottle of yellow.

Public Restroom Toilet Paper.

Listen I know it isn't going to be 2-ply, but come on, at least it could come off in sheets, not little squares. What is this about?

There is just a taste into some of the things I thought about today. I hope you didn't enjoy this in the slightest.

Raindrops on Roses

Sorry I have been gone for so long. My computer crashed and I've been spending time re-discovering it (new operating system and all). Anyway because of my iBook being down I started thinking about things... Yes, I know we aren't suppose to over indulge in things, but if Oprah does it... Why can't I?

So here is a list of Michael's Favorite Things... (well at least for right now)


In the Celebrity Category:
The Disney Celebrity Portrait Gallery is GROWING! Yes, I must admit this is my least favorite group as of yet, but I love the Pocahontas scene and the Peter Pan is pretty "genuine" looking.






In the News-Worthy Category:
Charla is back! I heard it straight from Morgen's blog! They will be re-running the original Charla Episodes!




Now for the Food Category:
Could anything top the list? I mean Diet Coke is the greatest drink since water.


Maybe I am just starving but don't Eggo Waffles with Log Cabin Syrup just make life better?



Now, Hershey has tried to bring in the cherry flavor, but we all know we trust in the Peanut Butter flavored Kisses most of all.



Next up Ben and Jerry's Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Unchanged in like-ability since 1990.



Now to the Tech World Category:

I love Wireless. I can't say it enough. Still not sure where I get it from, but I love it.


The iPhone. I still don't have one, but I still marvel at its greatness every time we go to SLO. Lovely really.


Ok, here's a New Cateogory titled "Women Michael Likes."
Paker don't read this section for a few obvious reasons.

Duh. Farah is the tops in this category. So there she is!



Judy Blume is a children's author who always makes me laugh. Her books should be everywhere and she should get lots of awards. There it is.


Lucy is the greatest. Hands down, call your mama, and shut your face, cause no one will ever be at the same level as Lucy.


JK Rowling is awesome. As I try to think of great stories to pen, I am left wondering how a school teacher ever came up with such an amazing, epic, yet classic story.

Let's check the Entertainment Category:
Yup. Oscar. I just get all excited when February is rolling around. For all of you macho people and wanna be fans who look forward to the Superbowl, I say let's talk Oscar. Who cares if it's just a newscast... It's Oscar.


And finally for The Category of Places I Like to Be:

Boom. There it is. You know you love being a Crown Club Card Holder. And you know you love going to the movies like I do. So embrace it. Own it, and get some free popcorn while you're at it.


Smack. That's right I did it.. Target. You know it's the best, and right about now you were hoping I was Oprah so you would get a shopping spree to that Redland of Goodness.


I wish I had the money bags like Oprah to give you all these things, but I don't. So I suggest you save a wee bit of money or take a wee bit of time out of your schedule to try one of my favorite things out. I think you're going to love 'em too.

Enjoy.

A Blast from the Past

Oh man. I just ate a giant pizza thanks to Kathy Silva and her giving. It was great. And as I sat there I remembered what it was like to be in the year 2007. Then I log on and find Parker has posted a blog on MySpace. What is this? A blast from the past indeed. 2007 was just a great year, filled with blogging and movie reviews. So I give you my (tentative) top list for 2007:

(Parker you may read no further)

1. Juno
2. The Queen
3. 300
4. Dreamgirls
5. Hairspray
6. Meet the Robinsons
7. Blood Diamond
8. Hot Fuzz
9. HP OOTP
10. The Last King of Scotland
11. Ratatouille
12. Pirates 3
13. Oceans 13
14. The Simpsons
15. National Treasure: President’s Book
16. Volver
17. Enchanted
18. Sweeny Todd
19. Elizabeth
20. The Bourne Ultimatum
21. Evening
22. Pan’s Labyrinth
23. No Country for Old Men
24. The Golden Compass
25. Spiderman 3
26. Shrek the 3rd
27. Transformers
28. Shooter
29. Next
30. Breach
31. Children of Men
32. The Good Shepherd
33. Notes on a Scandal
34. No Reservations
35. Amazing Grace
36. Ghost Rider
37. The Namesake
38. Letters from Iwo Jima
39. The Wind that Shakes the Barley

As it stands this is my list, I may make some changes based on the old reviews (I have yet to re-read them). Nevertheless, there you go. Enjoy.

Irregardless

Irregardless, it was Wicked hot.

Let me just say all of you who doubt Wicked is the best musical, you really need to head out and check it out. Let me just list a few reasons why this musical is a full plate of Spaghetti dinner with a Diet Coke on White Linen (yes a plus mark was just created by placing a white linen table cloth).

Cassie Levy- I know so many people loved Eden and Idina in the role, but honestly Cassie's voice was the BEST stage voice I have EVER heard in my life. She is a natural singer and gave me goosebumps every song she sang. She is still perfecting her cackle with the acting part, but honestly that is just a small part.

Hilarity- Megan Hilty was hysterical and perfect as Glinda. She added such a good mood to the show. I have to say she is better than the bits and pieces of Kristen Chenoweth I've seen.

Costumes- The details we were able to see from the very front was phenomenal. I couldn't believe how awesome the little details were.

Chorus- These voices were so POWERFUL. They were really working as a group, more than most casts.

Story- Honestly, this story is over 100 years old and everyone knows it and to take the modern twist--looking from different perspectives--was perfect.

So here's to the best musical, thank goodness I have finally seen it. (Took me long enough-- over 2 years!!)

Ode to 2007

Can you believe it is done? Actually I can. It has been a very busy year and now I present to you: A Year in Review. For if you were a time traveler from the past, having skipped 2007, it may not have made any sense to you.

(Parker, obviously this blog will contain traces of things you may not look at nor read)

Now that we're here in 2008, I have to say that life is great. This year I blogged about 39 movies. Starting with a bunch of Blood-y Diamonds and ending with a bunch of Bloody Necks,



I love it (I'm sick of it). But that didn't change how I felt about the trumpet. (I wish she hadn't had done the trumpet)


"Boof!" Rosie cries reflecting on her producers.


"Whoopi!" Sheri shouts quoting Philemon 13:27 kicking Rosie to the curb.


With all of this kicking and screaming you would think we were all a bunch of children

Well, this year it was nice meeting new family



and a midget and her cousin who are always in a matter or life or death situation.


Whoops--I take that back. I thought I saw something else. I guess that was just a fire hydrant.


It's funny, sometimes things "start to shrink."


I know my pocketbook would start to shrink if I was to have Nicolette over. Affordable, my brown eye!


If you want someone really affordable, go to Billie. Billie is cheap, two slaps on the face a fat lip will get you her in no time. Bring on the beatings


She probably suffers from depression, maybe if she ate like Lady Ursula, she'd be happy.


Then again it can be annoying meeting people. Honestly, Bethel. Parker and I did have a good time living in the Pearl (especially when you can figure out neighbors use their first names for passwords)... Oops, didn't I ever tell him that one?

But now the Nest beckons to me. With the internet coming and going... Wait! I've got Patrick!


And when we have Patrick we whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper.


We wouldn't want our neighbor with the figurines to know about Patrick. Especially during the Holiday Season. You never know who may be peaking out from the lock. Zat you?


Ah yes, love is a good t'ing, Davy Jones. Even if Will Turner is cursed to live a dumpy afterlife. One night only is all you need...


Speaking of love, I love Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. And as it turns out a certain Headmaster seems to be loving someone else.


Is that a Valentine to Grindewald I see Albus? Awh how sweet. Well I know who I am sending my Valentine love to... Not you, Parker, not this year. This year I give my love to my new, amazing bride Faufenheimer. Oh love... I'm in love with love. And out wedding, we worked it


I know someone who isn't getting a Valentine this year, thieves. Especially people who steal songs. Delilah knows it. Just listen to them! They stole Aggie's song!


But no matter, what do you say to taking chances? They won't ruin your lives... Unlike Parker ruining my weekend.


At least Dr. Spaceman can help me improve my life as I discover if Science (particularly if evolution) is whatever we want it to be.