Bugga Boo

I need to rant a little. So here is a list of things that bother me, disturb me, or just make me angry.

10. Belly Button Lint
Not that I have an excess of it, but I just don't get how it gets there and why it haunts so many. Honestly, if we were in a nudist colony would we have belly button lint? Well if not, we would have Austen Hough to deal with. So you'd have to weigh which is worse.

9. Spotty Internet

I mean, can't we just let everyone have the Internet? Having to pay, or hunt for a neighbor's unblocked WiFi is just ridiculous. I think all the companies need to get together and come up with a way of providing a basic FREE Internet service, just like analog television. FREE is good. I get 4 channels. Give me 10 free web sites per day. I'm just saying. It only makes sense.


8. Bugs.

I hate all of these little bugs hatching around me. Not literally around me, but in the different locations I find myself at there seem to be a lot of bugs. At work there is an infestation of gnats. At home we have seen a large array of spiders (Technically arachnids, but still). I got in my car yesterday and was greeted by a moth like creature! Everywhere I look--BUGS!

7. Macadamia Nuts

Every time I see a good cookie I am always a bit nervous that it may contain traces of the macadamia nut. I mean, from what I understand I am deathly allergic to them, and I don't want to risk it. So the first bite of a cookie is always a bit nerve racking, when in reality it should be one of the highlights of my day. Boo on you!

6. Lingering Smells

After a heat wave everything stinks. From the Junior Higher at the school to the trash can waiting to be collected. I can't stand the smell of the day after heat. Gross. I think it could be rectified with some Febreeze, but that's a whole lot of work. I suppose I could say I hate heat waves, but the smell is somehow worse--as it is inescapable.

5. Running

I have never been a runner (consult my fourth grade report card). I blame part of it on my childhood asthma, but now I try, and then I try again and I never NEVER like it. I like the idea of it. But the actual act of it is a joke. I always try to challenge myself, but I have no perseverance. I set mini goals and then say, "Ah, who cares?" and I stop running. I even try to get motivated by telling others. Then I just say "Eh." Call me Joy Behar, but "So what? Who cares?" I sure don't care for running.

4. BTSA

This is the worst government funded program. Well, I do like some aspects of it. But if I were in charge things would be run VERY different. I hate all the paper work and all the run around I get. The program is good in theory but doesn't meet the needs of each teacher. More often than not teachers have a negative perspective on BTSA, and I sadly am one of them.

3. MIA Parents

Urg! Sometimes I want to scream as parents forget their duty to their children. I have observed this one parent in particular who pretends to care about their (see I'm not saying he or she) kid, but in reality their child always gets the back burner. Boo. Especially when your child is under the age of 7 I, as a teacher of young kids, expect them to pay closer attention to the fact that they are in desperate need of help. Now if only we could give parents Detentions I think the world of academia would improve immensely.

2. Guns

There. I said it. I don't like them. They made my list. Call me a Bad Republican, an Extreme Democrat. Whatever you will. I don't like them. Sure I see there place in Law Enforcement. I see their use in some cases, but I still don't like them.

1. Lists
Just kidding, I couldn't think of one for my number one gripe today!

There it is. Sorry no pictures, ran out of time--well I woke up this morning and added some. So there! Woot, woot!

The Silver Screen

We all knew it was coming, Michael's Favorite Movies. Now, this is a really hard list to make because you have to factor in many a-variables. For instance, are we talking Oscar worthy? Rainy day value? Comedy? Drama? Or are these the ones I watch it over and over again? Well, in my first attempt to rank 7 of my favorite movies, the ones I watch over and over again... So here it is...

7. The Queen

There is something great about this movie. I love it every time I see it. Maybe it is the vivid writing (Great dialogue and direction.), the intense acting (Simply perfection by Ms. Mirren!), the time period (It was a brilliant to capture a small portion of history.). Whatever the reason this one is always great to watch on a rainy day and when I'm in a British mood. So here's to my mum and our English heritage. Pip, pip and all that sort of thing.

6. X2

Many a viewers will argure with me that this one is inferior to X-Men 1, and some fools will try to convince me X3 is better. To both of these groups I say, "BAH!" X2 was perfect. First of all I loved the soundtrack, the visuals were better than the first X, and the characters had mostly been established. X-Men 1 lagged a little for me as I big fan of the comics but X2 speedier. While I find this to be the superior X-Men Movie, there were still some flaws, but the good scenes outweighed the bad-- Nightcrawler's Assassination scene, Magneto's Escape, the fight with Lady Death Strike, the Attack on the School... All fantastic.

5. Batman Begins

This was the turning point in the Batman Series. While I was a die-hard fan of all of the original Batman Series (Yes, even Arnold as Freezey) I have to admit the best by far is Begins. I do love the Dark Knight, but I fear it is too new to add to my list. Time will tell (though it does have a bright future in my estimation). What Begins did was change the way the superhero movie was made. It took a more authentic slant on the process. Though it was still "out there" it was more believable as a story line. That paired with a guy named Falconey, a guy who wears a sack over his head (still gives me nightmares), and Morgen Freeman, I say this is a good one.

4. Love Actually

I can't believe I am confessing this to the world, but I love this movie. The first time I watched the movie all I could think was how awkward one of the story lines was. But now, after watching the edited version at Jon and Morgan's (Thanks for the screen blockage, Jon), I can safely profess I think this movie is superior. The way the writer, editor, and director was able to have 7 different stories going at once and then tie them all together was fantastic. In particular my favorite story line is Emma Thompson's. She has great depth in portraying this character and makes the dramatic elements really believable. For her scene, the amazing elementary school singer, and Miss Dunkin' Donuts I give this film two thumbs up.

3. Minority Report

Every year I watch this movie once or twice. There is something fascinating about this movie. Maybe it is because Parker hates it so much, or perhaps because the old woman kisses Tom Cruise, or maybe still it is the idea behind a self fulfilled prophecy. All of it is intriguing to me. Mix that in with a great story line, cool visual effects, and turning non-likable actors into likable characters and you've got yourself a guaranteed favorite.

2. Clue

This has been a favorite since I was a wee tot. With each viewing this movie gets funnier and funnier. It is a bit campy, but that works for this one. The characters are so perfectly placed for the movie, and it is a rather novel idea to film only 7 main characters (Well, I guess you could add the 6 dead bodies to the list) and film them only in one setting for an entire 90 minutes. And it was born of a board game of all things. This movie inspired me to create my own murder mystery parties, first penning one at age 10. Since then I have written approximately 7 Clue Parties and I have plans to write at least one more this summer. At any rate, Clue is a delightful treat that I can watch over and over.

1. The Devil Wears Prada

OK. There's my Chick Flick for the list. But I have to say I really like this one (hence the placement). I would say the Fauf and I have watched it about 30 times since it came out on DVD. I first saw this in the theatre by myself those were the best of times and the worst of times. I use to see nearly EVERY movie in the theatre. Often I would frequent the cinema alone, and with this movie this was the case. Back to the movie--It is a great movie with a perfect balance of comedy, luxurious lifestyles, drama, and great acting. Notably Ms. Streep gives a perfect performance as Miranda Priestly and Emily Blunt creates one of the best P.Oed characters of this century. Great movie, and for today it ranks top.

Now I left off Finding Neverland (tear-jerker), Hocus Pocus (holiday movie), and a few others that I love. But I'll save those for another list). Until then, on with the show!

Back to School

So today I prepare for my world of 38 more school days until summer (!!!). It is rather shocking to realize I will be completing my first year at the Charter. I have grown to love it. Pretty much the reason I have grown to love my school is the freedom I have to teach what I find relevant (while still making sure I drill in those main subjects). I thought I'd share with you all my top 8 things I love to teach about.

8. Grammar.

Eww! Yuck! You may say (Oh, and by the way, those are interjections.) Yes, last year I fell in love with teaching the parts of speech. This year I have expanded my teaching to include a broader scope. To date my first and second grade students can diagram sentences and know verbs, nouns, pronouns, proper nouns, adjectives, interjections, conjunctions, and soon they will add adverbs to the list. Oh--and yes, School House Rock has been mighty helpful in cementing the ideas in their brains.

7. Math. All areas of it!

I am personally shocked I love teaching this subject. For those of you who don't know I have constantly struggled with math (see second grade testing from 1988-1989). But since I have started teaching it I've seen my lack of a math brain has helped me become a better teacher. The kids tell me it is their favorite subject which is great because I always try to make it interesting and non-threatening. Woot, woot!

6. Money.

Up until about one month ago I would have told you I did not like teaching this at all. In fact just one month ago I was observed during my introduction lesson (it didn't go so well), but from there I figured out what I needed to do to help kids understand money. We started using magnifying glasses to observe money, then illustrate it, and finally use it to count and "buy" things. It's been way fun.

5. Musical Instruments.

While I am not the worlds greatest instrumentalist, I believe it is important to expose children to a variety of instruments. Every week I try to bring in a new instrument and have the children attempt to play it and understand how it works. It has been fun learning about science through the means of music. We've learned a lot about the way sound travels and how the size of an instrument changes the given tone an instrument can produce. The kids really like it.


4. Artists.

Since I started teaching I have always included an artist study in my work. The students all learn about who the artist was then we study his/her work. We compare and contrast the different elements of the artist's work, then we learn a technique the artist used. After learning the technique we imitate a masterpiece and display them in the room. Some of the artists we study include: Picasso, Matisse, Van Gogh, O'Keefe, Kahlo, Pollock, and many more. Obviously some of these characters have lives that are insane so I give the kids an age appropriate version of their lives.

3. Gardening/Agriculture.

I am not a gardener by practice, however I do consider myself a life long learner, so I have started to take up the hobby. Together my class has planted nasturtiums, scilla, lilies, cosmos, pumpkins, rubber plants, and potatoes. Most have faired well under the direction of this novice gardener. After many hours in the garden my students have gained a sense of time and patience.

2. Drawing.

Teaching kids to draw empowers them. It is amazing to watch kids go from making a crappy (well, its true) stick-figure, to making a beautiful, fully formed person by the end of the year. Teaching kids to approach art in an "I can do it!" way is cool. I'll be holding a seminar for Micah Mason who claims he needs to learn these skills. I invite anyone to come to my class in June when I'll do a week of Cartooning lessons.

1. Holidays.





I know many of you may look at this and scoff. But it is an insanely interesting topic. During the year (especially next year) we study about the different holidays that occur, the history, the traditions, the values, etc. I do a lot of writing assignments and art projects related to the holidays and also connect the day with all aspects of the curriculum. For instance on Valentine's Day in language we write a Valentine to our Parents, we learn in Social Studies about how you can show love to a person (5 Love Languages, baby!), we study the history of who St. Valentine was, we graph candy hearts in math, we read a book about candy, we even take time to look at what the human heart looks like and how we can keep it healthy. See--all areas of the curriculum. Holidays are the best.

Ig on the Go

With the onset of School I am reminded that I would have loved to go somewhere amazing on Spring Break. In reality I am very happy that we decided to stay home, I needed the rest and time to just be here in Santa Maria to catch my breath before the end of the school year. But this morning I felt this urge to be in some amazing hotel in a far off land (probably for the free continental breakfasts). So today I will entertain the masses with my list of places I wish to visit. Today's order is organized by likelihood and desire, so some state side areas are ranked above flying over the drink.

10. Fiji

I know this may come as a shock to some, but during my high school years I grew fascinated with Fiji. In fact I was crowned the King of Fiji my Junior year. There were signs put up around the school and I was given a crown. There. That could be the secret of the month. But at any rate, since then Fiji has always seemed like a magical place. So I'd love to be there, even if I had to sit on the beaches and "sun".

9. Belize.

No, not in Noelle's tribe styled camp. But in those resort hotels they advertise on Wheel of Fortune. That looks pretty amazing to me. I really like the idea (as stated in the Alaskan Cruise) of going to the outdoors but having all of the luxuries of the indoors. That works for me. The hotels advertised there are at ridiculous costs, but I think they would lend themselves to greatness.

8. Cairo, Egypt.

While my mother may argue that Egypt is "a dirty place." I still have a desire to go there. I blame 6th grade history. Ms. Frasier made the history too interesting. So history is one element and element two is we all know aliens were responsible for the pyramids, now its just a matter of finding them. I have a feeling if I were to go to Cairo I would be able to find some aliens lurking around the tombs of the pharaohs. I tend to see outrageous things everywhere, just ask Parker.

7. Orlando, Florida.

I know this one is totally expected, but I would love to see Disney World and Harry Potter World. Though I do fear we'd be stepping into a Home Alone 2 situation, rain, cheap hotel, etc. But overall if the Shaws do it, it will be done right. Need I say more?

6. Tokyo Disney.

Now to most of you you sit there and scoff at me for including a Disney (or two) on the list. But I say to each his own baby! I would love to go here. Not only would it be fascinating to explore Tokyo through the eyes of a mouse, but it would also be fun to be the minority tourist at a Disney Park (wait, maybe I can do that just by going to Anaheim).

5. Alaskan Cruise

Now, I know this doesn't quite fit my category, but I'm the author so deal with it. After talking with my dad a few years back and now Jon and Morgen I believe the Alaskan Cruises are perfect for me. As referenced in my Fiji response, a warm, sunny beach isn't always my favorite option. Therefore a cruise to the beauty of the outdoors (with ice) while on a floating hotel is a win win situation. Plus I could hunt down that Palin and tell her we dressed up as her and McCain for Halloween.

4. England.

I don't care where in the country, London, Sussex, Essex, North or South... but England. I know I have been there before, but that makes me want to go again. I know it has something to do with my roots. I simply loved being there and would love to go back now that I am a little older and more interested in tea.

3. Paris, France.

No not the bossy girl, the city. This has nothing to do with Gilmore Girls, but I am interested in visiting the city. Just yesterday Farah and I were talking about Old Stephers and Martin selling their cottage in France. There's one more closed door to the French. I would love to spend a week in Paris just observing and exploring. Fauf would be a great companion as she would giggle with delight over the selections of cheeses.

2. Rome, Italy

I know Fauf will be delighted to see this one on the list. I have yet to walk the streets of Rome and as husband to the Fauf I feel I must. It seems like a magical land filled with art, pasta, and romance. Well those are three things I really love, so I will keep this one at the top of the list. Well I guess it is also the home of the Coliseum and the Pantheon, but I'll take pasta over pantheons any day.

1.Washington D.C.

I have yet to be there (cough 11) but someday I (cough 11) might get to go there (cough 11). I think it would be fantastic to finally see all the monuments and historical sites I've studies all my life. Maybe I'll be able to go on a day when Abortion or Harry Potter is being protested and I'll walk in a protest and make the 5:30 News with Katie Couric. That would be fun. Though I'm not sure Harry Potter is protested that often, and chances are I'm on the wrong side of the argument.

Well Orkelberries, there you have it. Happy Trails!

Viewing Memories

So in continuing with my current listing syndrome I thought I would list my top 10 Favorite Childhood TV Shows. Ridiculous as this seems this was a fun one to come up with.

10. Power Rangers

Yes, I'm pretty sure I was in Junior High, but I think they are still classified into my childhood existence. I remember watching this one with Katie--she use to do a great impersonation of Rita saying, "Ah after 10,000 years I'm free. It's time to conquer Earth!" Honestly, with an opening like that, you know it has to be good. Though it was liked by me as a child, I quickly grew out of it and only liked it as a spoof, not as show, hence the tenth place ranking.

9. The Snorks

Though I claimed I loved this show I do not recall a great deal about this show. However the theme song annoyingly comes into my head every three months. I share the song with others and have yet to have a friend recall this show. I believe it was on The USA Cartoon Network ("For action, adventure, and all the rest. On the USA Cartoon Express!"). It was a pretty good show that dealt with these evolved creatures who sprouted snorkels where noses and foreheads normally reside. What a novel idea! I liked it for the colors I think.

8. The Monkey Show

I can't remember the name of this show!!! After writing about all of these I looked them each up and was satisfied with my memories. It was rather affirming realizing I had not concocted ideas about the shows that weren't true (see Parker for details). But this one seems to be lost! I can't find info on it. AH! But I assure you it was completely ridiculous! It was all of these chimps dressed as humans. Katie is bound to remember this one. The chimps talked and acted out this intense drama. Mata Hari was one of the chimps' names, but I'm pretty sure it was Mada Harry. At any rate we use to have this HUGE brown leather recliner with a tall, tall back. I remember tipping the recliner over and having Katie sit under the back of it while I pretended to push her around in it like in the Monkey Show. Ahh, if only I could remember the name. It was a Nickelodeon in the Afternoon Show.

7. Hey, Dude!/Salute Your Shorts/You Can't Do That on Television/What Would You Do/Clarissa Explains it All/Round House


These shows were like the Golden 6 of Nick. I loved them all at a different time but classify them together because I think I liked watching older kids on TV. I think all kids do. I look at the Cass and see she liked Emily and her older friends, so I think the reason I liked these ones was because of the older kids featured. All in all, the shows have left some individual impressions on me, but for the most part I just remember the theme songs. Well, Lisa and I use to pretend we were Sam and Clarissa. We would pretend to make video games about Furgeson, and every so often Lisa would tell me I was him. Bummer.

6. Captain Planet

Well this one was a favorite. How do I know? I remember waking up early JUST to see it. And when I found the action figures at KayBeeToys in the Mall I was ecstatic. I only ever found the black guy who was Earth and the Mexican? Tai? Philippine? who was heart. But they did come with little rings you could wear to pretend to be a "Planeteer". I still remember the song and a particular episode where Capt. Planet's arch nemesis formed an Anti-Planeteer group who sought to destroy the Earth with polution. One of them was Sludge. Great writing but it was only on the air for a few years.

5. Duck Tales

Yes, I was in the KCAL Kid's Club. On this one I have to admit I liked Launchpad McQuack the best. Gizzmo Duck was alright too. Donald annoyed me. But Scrooge and Mrs. Beakly were divine. The show all centered around Scrooge and his number one dime. I loved his money room. In fact I loved it so much I remember Lisa and I poured a big bucket of money on the ground and pretended to swim in it. If only we could get the Foxenwood Clubhouse to have penny day we could relive the magic of Scrooge's Money Bin. Ah... One can only dream.

4. Darkwing Duck

Oh, the joys of KCAL Kids' Club yet again. It was such a treat to come home from school and watch Darkwing at 4:00. I watched this show for a few years and liked it so much I would draw costume ideas for the bad guys. At the time (fourth grade) I was dating Stephanie. She and I would pretend we were the character from the show. She was Morgana and I was either Darkwing, the Liquidator, or The Plant Guy (I can't seem to remember his name right now). At any rate, it seemed like the greatest show on earth until I rented a few of the episodes from the Evergreen Video Center three years ago, only to find it was a boring slightly dull show. Oh well, as a kid I liked it.

3. Tiny Toons

While a majority of my peers loved Animaniacs (which came a year or so after) I was a Tiny Toons fan. I had sticker books with the characters and imagined myself as a Buster Bunny. I remember my dad took me to 7-11 to buy them on Friday nights. This was pre-X-Men (see #1). I loved the characters Elmira and Max, they were insane. They epitomized the ridiculous children in our world. and Dizzy Devil was delightful. The idea I liked most of all was a school where toons learned to be toony. It was great concept to explore and always was interesting to see the Merry Melodies characters make cameos on the show.

2. Doug

Man, Nickelodeon did good with this one. I loved the story of Doug, the awkward pre-teen, who fell in love with Patti Mayonese. Skeeter was his best friend who honked at him to say hello, there was a bully, a dog named Porkchop and crazy neighbors who BBQed a lot. The show was perfect for me as I entered into older grades where kids normally think they are too old for cartoons, but really need them

1. X-Men

By far the best of all was the 1990's X-Men. Simply superb. It gave me a love for all things X-Men, brought me up to speed on many stories, and brought a huge collection of action figures into my life (Thanks to my dad who took me to KayBees and eventually ToysRUs to purchase oodles of toys, and 7-11 where I bought a first edition of the new line of comics which released in the 90's--thanks Dad!). FOX showed X-Men at 10:00 weekly. Just fantastic if you ask me. I rarely missed an episode and for awhile I was taping them for Mrs. Elder, who like most people, came to love the X-Men because of this stellar cartoon series. I recently went on e-Bay and bought the series on a boot legged DVD. I know, I'm not sure of the ethical ramifications of this either, but just so you know I think I lost all of the DVDs. At any rate Lisa also enjoyed the show and we bonded over this. In addition this was what bonded Caleb McCutcheon and myself. Which then bonded me with Courtney and Christina, which inevitably linked me with the Fauf, so there. I guess X-Men brought the Fauf and Ig together! Like I said, it is number 1.

There it is, a walk down the Boob-Tube Viewing of my childhood. I'm sure I could have added a few more like the Dark Knight or some other show, but for today, this is it. Enjoy.

Establishments

Today's list is all about places I like to frequent in the Jolly Ol' Town of Santa Maria (for those of you who do your birthday shopping six months in advance, take note for gift card ideas)

5. Boomers

Some of you may be surprised to see this one making the list, but if you happen to be a gambler like myself you know that the "Deal or No Deal" game exists at all great arcade facilities. That's right, for just $1.50 you get the chance to interact with the briefcases from the show. Watch out for the grumpy Asian Model who scowls at you, and the constant wanna-be gangsters who roam the arcade. But as long as you have a cop for a best friend, you should be safe.

4. Panera Bread

Every week I meet my friend, Kaleb, at this fine establishment. And it doesn't take much of my money. I cleverly discovered when buying a plain bagel for the listed price of 99 cents, if you get the bagel on a tray it costs $1.07, but if you get it in a To-Go Bag it only costs the listed price of 99 cents. Pair the bagel with some water and Land O'Lakes Butter and you have a perfect treat that is carb-a-licious. The only big issue I have with this place is their horrible taste in music. It is worse than muzak--it is Kenny G INSPIRED, not even the real deal. Therefore this establishment earns my 4th place ranking.

3. Starbucks, McCoy

Now I like this place, but really only with the Fauf. We like to frequent this establishment and play games such as Scrabble, Chess, Pictionary, and yes, even Skip-Bo. It smells wonderful in there, but after spending over 20 minutes in the pad you start to smell of coffee grounds, which can be a good thing for some. It is a good place to relax, but it tends to get a little cold because they can't seem to maintain their air conditioning unit. Therefore it earns my 3rd pace spot.

2. Edward's Cinema

No, our movie theatre isn't the best. But hey, I love the movies. Something new is always happening at the movies and there is something about the shared experience with others that make movie going enjoyable. Now if only the theatre would fix all the broken seats, lower prices, and make the theatre stadium seating I'd move them up in my rank, but for now this spot reflects the joy of the movies and dollar popcorn days.

1. Target

Honestly, it doesn't get much better than this folks. It has pretty much anything you will ever need. And when you can't find something did you know you can go online and request for the store to stock the item. Well, they don't always listen, but at least they have an outlet for you to send your ideas. The items in the store constantly change and at least one fourth of the items are appropriate for the Manor. In addition, though few try this, you may barter with the check out clerks.

As some of you looked over the list you may have scoffed at the fine establishments here in Santa Maria--and--well that's ok. You can scoff. I just did as I looked over the list again. Please note these are all regularly attended establishments, not PCPA or any grande eatteries such as The Garden Room, these types of establishments will be saved for another blog.