F*R*I*E*N*D*S

So every so often the Amazing Fauf and I get together to discuss who our friends are. No, no, not you people who actually read our blog. We pay homage to you during the Iggy's. No, at this time we were discussing people who we find absolutely ridiculous or completely lovely. So here you go, our current list of wonderful friends, mostly just the new ones, dahling:

First may I present Chet. The lovable, adorable, magnificent Chet. He married us, he sings, he dances, and gosh darn it he looks like a gnome. There you have it:


Joining the ranks this time is that lovable Nicolette. Yes, you've heard about her on Farah's blog, now you can see her on mine. Source: Charles Dwyer and his amazing art. We love him and do hope that we can one day afford a piece of his fantastic stuff.


And then there was Donna. Oh, we thought her a fool at first. Telling us with a wink of her brown eye, a portrait was "Very affordable" at "Only 3000 dollars... out the door." But then when she set Nicolette in the Show Room and with a disappearing whisper of excitement she called out, "Let me just adjust the lights, and notice how her bodice changes to looking like a nude and then a boa." And then, in the blink of her blue eye we changed our mind. Oh Donna, we missed you on Wednesday, how we longed to have you adjust the lights and not some has-been leather relator, you were the best artist developer we saw in all of Carmel, we didn't value you! FORGIVE US! We long for you Donna, your blond hair and lovely voice. Oh how we miss you.

[no picture is on file for the amazing Donna]

Next we find Dancing Cheryl coming down the lane. She was a hoot to say the least. She reminded me of a more haggard Jennifer Coolidge. She was totally into the music and was hysterical to watch during the Main Street Commemorative Disneyland Birthday Celebration. Cheryl, here's to you!



Following behind Cheryl is the Waitress Nazi, Suzette. Unfortunately Suzette is camera shy. However she is a bit bulshy, so if you ask her, "Now does your bisque have cream?" She'll simply, and ever so gently spit at you "Bisque is Cream." and then waltz away to the sounds of "Do you know..." But honestly who can trust the head waitress who tells you "Full" isn't on the Dessert Menu. A five star waitress...



Following in the lines of strong women comes Lady Ursula. Yes, you must say LADY or else it isn't as fun. Ever notice how there seems to be a lot more women dressing and looking like Ursula lately? Even on America's Got Talent.... Well here's to you all the Lady Ursulas of the World...


Speaking of Disney Villains, this past week I had the opportunity to meet up with Farah's favorite villain, Curella DeVill. She was hysterical and rude. One glance at me, even after my "You look lovely dahling." comment, she said, "I wish I could say the same for you. What on earth are you wearing? You look like someone covered you in bad wall paper. Honestly." Here's to a witty lady with killer style...



Speaking of people who make life miserable, let's talk about someone who has a miserable life: Suicidal Billie. Her lousy life where all she does is sing for the man and get beat by him too, but she loves him. Oh well life could be worse, poor thingy. She had to sing all those songs about her man cheating on her, two-timing her, what a joke. Honestly Billie, you were better off with out him...



So if you weren't selected this time as a friend, please drop us a comment here on my blog. If you were selected and you would like to find your way out of the friend's list, please drop us a comment and three reasons why you should be off the list. If you are dead, please ignore this message.