Senior Citizens BEWARE of Robots!

Remember that sketch? I do.

I just finished reading "Haroun and the Sea of Stories" with my Honors English classes...



They really enjoyed it--for the most part. I loved the use of machines and magic in the story, however, it got me thinking about machines that are missing from our world. (If you haven't read this lovely little book, just imagine Willy Wonka-esk machines producing "sadness" and other such commonplace ideas.) So here is a list of machines I'd like to see in our world:

The Homework Grader 3000:

Honestly, I love my job... But after reading 140 papers (plus 22 more at Hancock) and writing "spell out numbers" and "introductory clause needs a comma" over 100 times can be exhausting. If only there was a magic machine that would grade the papers and respond as needed.

The Grinch Detector 580:

Imagine you are having a good day. You are feeling good. Enjoying the season. Then you turn a corner and BOOM! a Grinch comes out and destroys your moment and reminds you people in this world can be major butts. If only you had a Grinch Detector 580, you would have never turned the corner.

The Chocolate Converter 650:

If only I had this, I'd eat my brussel sprouts. Imagine you are sitting there, knowing you need to eat healthy foods, but you are like me and you realize most green foods don't taste enjoyable. What do you do? Reach for the Chocolate Converter 650 and make the food trick your mouth into thinking it is chocolate all the while gaining the nutritional value of the food. I'm no John Henry Midas, but I'd sure love it.

Teleporter:

Need I say more? We really need one of these.

So, to all of you Science Nerds (aka Jason) start inventing and make me happy.

That's all there is.