As many of you know I have many obscure, somewhat ridiculous fears. In all honesty I think they are things that creep me out mainly because of personal experiences... these are not total blown phobias. However, I thought I should share these fears in this public forum so I can perhaps get past these problems and realize these are really things of the past.
This Friday I bring issue up with: Kuwait.
Yes, it was once proclaimed during a game of Scattergories that I was afraid of Kuwait. It was laughed at (Farah), scoffed at (Morgan), and dismissed (all the rest of you who participated in this life altering game). However I have to admit if I were to list the places in the world I would be most fearful to travel to it would in the Top 5(ish).
This fear may be illogical, but it is based in childhood realities. (Yes Jon. I know this goes against the 1 Corinthians verse about being a man, but still. At least I know where Harbor Freight is.)
In 1991 we joined the Gulf War and I was merely a 9 year old boy. Just your innocent boy who was sitting on the ground of his living room while he heard Dan Rather, Ted Koppel, and Tom Brokaw discuss this breaking news event.
I, being a young lad with little historical reference (Yes, I thought Lincoln was black) and very little understanding of basic distance (I mean come on, Kuwait is 7,939 miles away from Santa Maria) assumed the whole war was being caused by... Hitler's Ghost. This troubled me. But it troubled me more when I thought Hitler would want to bring the battle to my backyard. Because, in my mind all terrible things would end up plaguing the beloved Orcutt.
I know that is a lot to take in. But it all came to a head when one sunny afternoon in 1992 I sat in my garage thinking about how horrible Kuwait, all Ghost-Infested and evil, really was.
Suddenly, out of no where, I heard an old airplane fly over head. And then another. And another. What was it? I didn't know. So logically, like any kid would do, I turned on the transistor radio and listened for the airport radio frequency. After turning the knobs I finally found the airport's station. It was then I heard the word "bomber" and I panicked! The Kuwait War Lords and Hitlet's Ghost had found their way to the land of Orcutt. I ran inside and screamed, "It's the end of the world! I think Hitler's back!"
In the end it turned out to be the Santa Maria Air Show. Who knew? Not 9 year old Michael, he assumed Kuwait was to blame.
And that's why I fear Kuwait.
...That's also why I should get a point for that answer in Scattergories.
4 comments:
I will now allow the point, even though that entire story was complete bunk. I appreciate you coming up with a totally ridiculous story as to why you're afraid of Kuwait.
Honestly, I would've believed you more if you said you were afraid of kumquats.
Though this story doesn't sound true. It is, in actuality 98% true. The only part I am fuzzy on is the word "bomber" but I think that happened.
You should enroll for a summer course at F.C. Shaw's Academy to solve this deep seeded psychosis and mystery.
Her students success rate is outstanding. XXOO Friends of Watson
You should have come to me and told me. I could have told you Kuwait is not so bad. My cousin lived their with her husband and a kind sheik gave them all kinds of lovely gifts(real jewelry etc).
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