The Mikey's/Iggy's

Best Laugh/Voice Over:
The Constipated Gnome...

Most Random Friend Habits:
Parker and his regular schedule (believe me this is a random occasion for ParkMan)


Best Overall Look:
Farah...
All other nominees have been sacked.

Best Illusionist:
Kaleb the Disappearing Magician...

Best Upgrade:
The Nest (as opposed to the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchess)...

Biggest Shock:
Michael shopped at the Grocery Outlet...

Best Burrow Moment...
The Burrow Bachelor Party...

Best Traveling Adventurer:
Michael and Farah going on a Honeymoon up north...

Best Use of Time Consuming Activities:
A TIE
Farah sunning outside in... cough cough... a tube top..
Parker sitting watching me work...

Best Sister Catch Phrase:
"Poach off the mooch..."

Best Staff Moment:
Praise God! No more staff! Sorry, I loved you all, it's just easier...

Oh wait there is RD Staff:
The guy teacher saying "Yeah. That's really great." wearing his package sweatpants...

Best Kid Phrases:
"It's just doesn't make any sense."

Best Teacher Shout Out During a Class Session:
"People are definitely going to hate you. Most of them will. But we like you."

Best Person to Sit by in a Class:
Kelli Bornhoft since the first grade...

Best Way to Talk to Reference Me...
You @#$&@#! (Parker knows that one)...

Best phrase from a groomsman...
TIE
"Your FANCY wedding"...
"Are you knockin' boots?"

Congrats to you. There is a small trophy being constructed for each of the winners. Be warned: it is made of foil, but still.

It's Codependence Day

Well I was thinking about Martina McBride this week. You know that country singer who belts out Independence Day. Well While that song is lovely and all I thought maybe she should try this version for the events leading up to tomorrow. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you "Co-Dependence Day," sing it Martina:

Please note: co-de·pen·dent or co·de·pen·dent (kō'dĭ-pěn'dənt) adj. 1. Mutually dependent. (not the second definition)

Well we seemed all right by dawn’s early light though the CDS wouldn't get goin' and burn
Worried and weak he woke up to retreat, thinkin' all about those CDs...
The proof on the flowers, and tracking too, wouldn't post on the internet
Seemed to not work so I took myself down to the Shaw's in town on
Co-Dependence day

Well word gets around in a small, small town they said it was a lucky day
But mama was proud and she stood her ground, her ankle was-a killin’ her
Some folks drove-in some folks flew but everybody showed up on that day
When time came up they was all in a barn on Co-Dependence day

So get wedding rings, and the white veil seen.
Let the whole world know that today is a day of vowin'.
Let the bride be strong, let the groom be not wrong
Roll the tractor away, let the parent's pay, it’s Co-Dependence Day

Well they lit up the lights that warm July night
By the time the weddin' guests came
Just cut the cakes and danced with some dames
And send us to the honeymoon
Now I ain’t sayin’ it’s perfect or that it’s not but maybe it’s the only way
Talk about an-amazing couple, it’s Co-Depenednce day

Roll the tractor away it’s Co-Dependence Day .

The Nest

Here is your first look at the Nest. Yes, it is still in ned of some changes (eww the sofa doesn't go, and yes we know the cabinets are ugly) but it's a good start. We regret to inform our readers the upstairs is currently unviewable, due to a COSTCO malfunction. Boo! Hiss!

Viva Las Vegas

Here were the players: Michael "The Bachelor," Kyle "The Man," Jon "The Eye," Parker "Moneybags." and Austen "The Urban Cowboy." We set sail in a then-clean 2006 Toyota Carola from SM to LA to LV.











Look on the moving walkway! It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's just Kyle.




"Why isn't this fountain show starting? Oh it's, like, 1 am."


Austen! Get your hand off of me!!!



The Eye of Ky


Jon's amazing Eye on Paris


Two thoughts "A" "mazing"




Blue Man! You slay me!


Kyle and Parker role hard with their girlie drinks.


"Celine. I want to be you!"


Oh dear. Celine!!!


Parker scares me! Ahh! Parker, don't ruin my weekend!


The New Gatorade Ad. This is a wacky fountain in front of Planet Hollywood. I'm just saying Jon's ability to capture the moment with a little help from the Eye of Ky.


Parker likes this look.

So aparently it is not a good idea to leave a soda in the car when it is 110 degreees outside. The evidence.


Jon and Kyle on the edge of the world--otherwise known as the Stratosphere Insane Teeter-Totter Ride.



My Winnings from the Penny Slots, Kyle's Winnings from Roulette.




"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas--your money."


Well for about three days now I have been attempting to load some photos of the weekend on to here. Now it is finally happening I will just let the pictures speak for themselves... Enjoy...

Name Change

I know what you're thinking. I'm going to talk about Farah and her changing her name... Well... No. You're wrong.

I've decided to change the name of the awards show to the Iggy Awards. So there it is. Deal with it.

Also just for my records on June 18, 2007, I got a good phone call about my life. More to come of that for the blogging community later.

The Mikey Awards

Just under a year ago I decided it was a good idea to have an awards show for my friends and the amazing things they do. A year ago I came to the conclusion it is nearly impossible to say because who is the best because everyone has a unique quality, but I think for the following categories I may be able say a definitive statement. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the 2007 SHAW AWARDS, more commonly known as The Mikey's:

Best Laugh/Voice Over:
The Constipated Gnome...
Jennifer and her shrills...
The Firefighter at the Movies and his guffaw...
The Zizzah Zizzah voice who sounds like Bill Cosby on Crack...
Doug Swenson's Sunday School Accent...

Most Random Friend Habits:
Parker and his phone messages...
Parker and his regular schedule (believe me this is a random occasion for ParkMan)
Jon and Morgan riding around Santa Maria in two vehicles at the same time, going to the same place...
Austen and his work schedule...
Mike and his text messages...

Best Overall Look:
Farah...
All other nominees have been sacked.

Best Illusionist:
Kaleb the Disappearing Magician...
The pictures on the wall of my house... Suddenly they just appeared!
My picture of Harry Potter in his invisiblity cloak...

Best Upgrade:
Michael working at Ralph Dunlap...
Parker talking to a girl...
Team Whitney's new look...
The Nest (as opposed to the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchess)...

Biggest Shock:
No replacement for Stew yet...
Michael shopped at the Grocery Outlet...
Michael doesn't have a job this summer...
We're getting married in less than 20 days...

Best Burrow Moment...
The Yule Ball 2006...
The Burrow Bachelor Party...
The DVD of the Burrow Bachelor Party...
Adding Josh to the Burrow...

Best Traveling Adventurer:
Lisa and Kyle going to Europe...
Michael and Farah going on a Honeymoon up north...
Lowie being in Santa Maria this week...
Saus braving the 101 to come to SM, happening upon Parker...
Michael and Parker digging up the time capsule..

Best Use of Time Consuming Activities:
Farah sunning outside in... cough cough... a tube top..
Parker sitting watching me work...
Michael watching all 4 Harry Potters in less than 24 hours...

Best Sister Catch Phrase:
Lisa waving her finger around telling people, "I'm just saying!"...
Susie saying, "Ig!"...
Kaite saying, "Subbppa subbppa subbbppa, Michael!"...
"Poach off the mooch..."

Best Staff Moment:
Praise God! No more staff! Sorry, I loved you all, it's just easier...

Oh wait there is RD Staff:
Mrs. Lewis asking to see the "Sex Book" and chapter titles...
The guy teacher saying "Yeah. That's really great." wearing his package sweatpants...
Donna painting a portrait of the 4 amigos for 07-07-07...
Miles and his Salsa...

Best Kid Phrases:
"Mr. Shhhhhhaaaawwww (blushing). I don't know."
"It's just doesn't make any sense."
"Double Zero! Triple Zero!"
"Ok, how about 19 laps?"

Best Teacher Shout Out During a Class Session:
"Are you going to finish?"
"Did Michael fall off the edge of the earth?"
"Take the job and shut the door."
"People are definitely going to hate you. Most of them will. But we like you."

Best Person to Sit by in a Class:
Kelli Bornhoft since the first grade...
(there are no other nominees in this category)

Best Way to Talk to Reference Me...
Michael Shaw...
Ig...
Mr. Shaw...
Sweetie...
You @#$&@#! (Parker knows that one)...

Best phrase from a groomsman...
"Your FANCY wedding"...
"Balls."...
"Oh dear, Michael."
"Are you knockin' boots?"



So if you would like to vote, you may. If not, I will just arbitrarily decide which is the most significant. Please place all votes in the way of comments... You don't need to vote for every category, but it would be nice if you did. I suggest the copy and paste method.

Best wishes to the Nominees. Results will be tallied and totaled soon...

Post 500

Wow. I made it to 500 blogs today. I was trying to think of something good to write for this blog so here it goes. Michael's Top 10 things he is bothered by today, and 10 things that made me delighted today. The exciting part about this blog will be you're mental investment into the blog. See you'll need to decide which one delights me and which one aggravates me. Let the games begin.

10. The Burrow Bachelor Party. (video to come soon)
10. The empty Love Sac.

9. My new full guest room.
9. My new sorted living room.

8. Jersey accents.
8. Texas accent.

7. Not having a sale at Michael's when for a week and a half they said they would.
7. Watching all 4 Harry Potters in less than 24 hours.

6. Sneezing all day and then suddenly stopping at 8:00pm.
6. Calling underwear "unmentionables."

5. People who black out somewhat dirty phrases with a marker without telling the owner of the game.
5. Playing a game with people who try to read through the black marker.

4. Harry Potter.
4. Hairy Chests.

3. The word knickers.
3. Underwear.

2. The cinematography in HP3
2. The cinematography in HP4

1. Borrowing the Internet from a neighbor.
1. Borrowing beans from a neighbor.

There she is. My blog is 500.


Long Live the blog.

Oops... Hello June!

Well let me just put it this way... I didn't even realize it is June already! I can't believe how quick these things go by. Oh well, well here's the story, I saw Ocean's 13 and I liked it. Here comes the review:

So I never really LOVED the Ocean's series, yes I liked them, but they always had this slow flow to them. But I was surprisingly happy to find that Ocean's 13 was a little peppier than the previous two. You really can't go terribly wrong when you have three pretty awesome actors as the three "heroes" or are they villains? Clooney, Pitt, and Damon. Gotta love it.

I have to say the two brothers kind of rocked. I loved the stupid Mexican Revolution portion of the show. Silly, silly, and at times laugh out loud funny.

In all honesty I'm running late to work so I'll leave it on these thoughts: Good movie, easy to follow, and interesting story.

Scout's Honor

If I were a boy scout I would have taken to heart the need to always be prepared. I'm just going to put it this way: I'm not a boy scout, but I am rockin' in the department of preperado. I interviewed at the OUSD today, and I think I did pretty well. So woot woot for that! Because of the possibility of my interview being a good thing (one never knows until one hears back from the panel) I will impart some boy scout knowledge to ye ol' readers.

Keep an unwrapped cough drop in your pocket during the ballet so you don't distract from the art, or just don't go to the ballet.

Make sure you have DSL to have quick internet surfing, or if you don't have DSL make sure you can figure out your neighbors passwords.

Be certain you always look good, or at least be around others who wear glasses to see and break their glasses before they can take a look at you.

Go to the Dentist every 4 to 6 months or just buy Crest Pro Health so you feel like you went to the Dentist even if you didn't.

Always wear clean underwear, or save time and don't wear any at all.

Don't mess with Texas, but if you do be sure to say "ya'll."

If you go to an interview expect 7 people to be sitting across from you. If you don't, you're just a fool.

Just call me Dumbledore, baby.

Nu3bers, Part 2

1 couple who I will envy for their purchase
2 excited people about a new apartment
4 more days until my first Open House
5 trips thus far to 1930 number 4
8 more hours in the Pearl
13 more days of Room 2
21 weeks passed by in this year
23 movies I've seen this year
38 days till Mike comes to visit
42 days until I get a new roomie
47 days until the next great movie
55 days until the next great book

Move, Move, Movies.

Well it's true. It's the end of the era of the Black Pearl. By that I mean Parker and I are getting our divorce this weekend and by tomorrow we will be out of each other's lives. I'm a little sad, but I have to say my new place is pretty awesome. I mean it is number 4, and there is a cupboard under the stairs. Sound familiar? Yup. I thought so. So that's the move, just as Rosie leaves The View, I leave the Pearl. How poetic.

Anyway I know I need to get to the real news on hand: The Movies. So let me get to it.

Shrek the Third was a little bit of a let down. Now I should stay positive first.... The animation was really good. I kept admiring the skin texture and the hair this time. It seems they have perfected their craft. So bravo to them for that area of their lives. As for the story line. Gosh! Who wrote this? George Lucas? I can't believe how cheesey this stuff was. Now I'm not saying I don't love GL, but we all know he tends to write rather corny stuff. Shrek was just trying to be too much. I think it should have stuck to the good roots of pop culture comedy and stayed away from deep struggles. Let's keep the theme of love me for who I am, rather than "will I be good enough." Gag me with a fork and call me a ogre.

Rice Cakes and a taste of Peanut Butter.






Sigh. I loved it, loved it. Now I have really gotten into this whole pirate lore, so I am slanted, but it was just right for me. I have been hearing word on the street a lot of people don't understand the plots and characters... But come on people. Watch 1 and 2 and you're fine. I just don't get what was so baffling. The CGI and other visuals were just perfect and the characters (for the most part--except Jack and Jones) were perfect.

Something was a bit over done and yet not done enough with Jack this time. I can't really put my finger on it, but I believe he took too much of a sub-role in the film. Also Jones was a little to sub for me too. Yes, we talked about him a lot, but he's so wonderful let's focus on him a lot, A LOT, more.

There were three, maybe only two, times when I was a little annoyed with the director and writers choices for the film. As to not give any spoilers I would just hint at the giant thing (totally an old horror film--STUPID). And the shoulder thing. What a joke, I mean does it really have to be that childish? Gersh.

Despite these flaws this movie went exactly where I wanted it to go. All the actors were hot and I give it a nice bowl of Spaghetti with a swish of Diet Coke. Yes, I know I love Disney and Pirates so go figure.

The Wind that Shakes the Barley

Ok maybe I am daft, but I didn't really get this movie. I tried. It was a winner from the Cannes. So there must be something I am missing but.... I just didn't like it.

Yes, I was struggling at the start to make sense of the ridiculously strong accents the Irishmen put on, but then once I was past the accents I kept wondering what was going on. I understood the plot (though it was one of the worst plots ever). I like historical drama these days, but they can't just stand on their own unless they are done with a careful eye. I believe what was lacking from this was an intimate story line. You know a good old Kate and Leo, Rose and Jack... I'm not asking for history to be rewritten I'm asking for a few driving characters here.

Cillian Murphey scares me, and did an OK job as the rebel, but other than some good Irish talkin', drinkin' and fightin' I just didn't buy into this film. Oh the shame... At least the popcorn only cost me a buck.


Beans on toast for me.

Ode to My Life

So I pretty much was just sitting here and thought it was time for another blog. I know my blogging world is inconsistent to the masses, but there is rhyme and reason to what I do.... (pauses for a few minutes and tries to rationalize why one can't get online every day, or even every other day to blog) Well I tried, but no luck. Needless to say this is a disappointing time in the world... of movies that is.

I mean they release a "blockbuster movie" and now there's nothing. Nothing for us little folks to watch the next weekend. Sure we could go see Spiderman again, but shouldn't there be another BIG blockbuster released today. I'm just saying where is Shrek? Where is Pirates? Where is Potter? Where is Transformers? Honestly. So I cry, I wait and I beg... Loveme, loveme, say that you love me [movies] fool me, fool me, go on and fool me. I can't care 'bout anything but you.

Oy. My brain hurts.

How can you not want to see more...

Here she is being mad at me.
Gotta love the anger.

Ah, jeeze.

Well maybe I am overly sick (yes this is probably true) but for some reason I really liked this video of the two of us. We are totally ridiculous.

Well here we are...

NEXT

What is happening to me... dare I say it... Next was a surprisingly good movie. I was surprised to see Nicholas Cage in a movie where I didn't want to throw popcorn at the screen during 97% of the film. With this movie I only wanted to throw popcorn at him 15% of the time. So the statistics are improving.

The movie is a Sci-Fi, Superhero-esk movie filled with some good some and very good B-list actors. Jessica Biel and Jullianne Moore to name the two leading women. I thought the concept was good, and dare I say I thought the character Chris was a better superhero than some of the poor excuses for heroes in Spiderman 3. Speaking of which, what happened to the good old Spider Sense? Hum.

The music seems as though it was stolen from Ghostrider or some other Nicholas Cage movie I have seen. I couldn't place it but I am pretty sure it is an exact theft from a previous film.

I wouldn't rush out to see this film though, while the plot is good, and the twists are absolutely there (some simply delightful), this is a good Blockbuster date movie because of the silliness who is Nicholas Cage. However, if you happen to rank up some extra points with your Regal Crown Club Card, and you just so happen to have enough points to get a free movie ticket... then see this film.

Rice cakes and peanut butter with a tall glass of Diet Coke.

Wonderful Things

Wonderful things include:

Fauf
No plans for a Saturday
Mario Cart at the Coulters
Jon's lovely skin
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End with the sweet laugh
Harry Potter: OOTP Preview
Cassidy calling out "Michael! Uncle Michael!" this morning
Paula Deen's Georgia accent
Watching Katharine McPhee and Elisabeth Hasselbeck on the same show
Austen hanging up on me
Andrew and Michael going to the movies
Parker being truly excited to the depths of his soul on Thursday night
Going to the movies by myself this morning
Not showering on a Saturday
Free BBQ today
Watching HP1 at the Coulters
Spring days with a lovely SM Wind--Hooray!

Wonderful things. Simply delightful.

Hot Fuzz

Hot Fuzz Review:


I had no clue what to expect with this movie. So honestly if this blog is slanted--that is why.

So this movie was really funny. It was a good departure from the stereotypical movies I typically see. It is absolutely gory, filled with some naughty language, and extremely accurate in its depiction of ridiculous British people. Ok... Not really, because there is a total silly, hilarious, funny, laugh out loud scene where this movie goes from off the wall to totally insane. Needless to say I love a good laugh and I liked the atypical enjoyment of gore in a movie.

Good stuff. I have to say this movie is only for those with a twisted sense of humor and silliness.

Spaghetto atop a Rice Cake... Ok that sounds gross but really it is a big compliment because, let's face it I am merging two favorite foods together.

Spiderman 3: Some kind of a battle

Spiderman 3: The Battle Within...

Hum. The Battle Within. We'll get back to this statement in a momeent. As for the overall picture of this picture I have to say it was borderline Batman Forever (those of you who can't keep that franchise straight, it's the one with Carrey as the Riddler), and the most campy and over-the-top of all three of the movies.

I won't give away as much as my first grade little friend did after listening to a spoiler on the radio... But I have to say something about the ending of the movie-- totally predictable. Giant monster-esk creatures who don't read as well as your regular Goblins or Ocs.

The graphics were sweet in parts of the movie. I have never been a fan of the swinging Spiderman shots over NYC, but there was something better to this movie: SAND. It was kinda amazing. Gotta love the use of sand. I have a theory they looked at water when they were mimicking the movement of the sand.

Ok but the whole two, three, possibly four villains is just silly. You can have sub-characters who are jerk-a-ronies going, but please two villains is MORE than enough. Let's cut out the whole need to make it BIGGER than the last one. Let's just stick with the need for a good script which hooks movie goers, and big action scenes which hook in the big bucks.

The Battle Within was not a very good show. IT needed more depth to it. The whole struggle of wanting to be powerful could have been a movie on its own, but no... Let's pack it in there for the masses. Urg.

I have to say I sound totally negative on this--as negative as the critics on Mary Jane on Broadway, but still. I liked it ok. I would say don't rush for this one.

It was a let down. So I give it rice cakes, no peanut butter, and absolutely no Diet Coke.