A Buck.

Poor George Washington and his dollar bill. In the past people use to honor him. Save for him. Why it use to take kids four missing teeth, saving four mini-Georges, to achieve the greatness that is George Washington on the greenish bill. Now people are under the impression that one buck is not worth much. But I implore you to think about George in a positive way. Today I looked in my wallet and saw two George Washington dollar bills staring at me. Any other Joe might look at them an scoff, "Patewy! What good is he gonna do me?" I know exactly what good he'll do for me. So can you guess which way George steered me today?...


5. Jack in the Box Cheeseburger.

You get your fake dairy, fake meat, and enriched white bread plus if you are really daring you can get the special ketchup and tomato they throw on it. A perfect meal. Wash it down with some processed water and you are sure to enjoy the meal George so generously provided.

4. Panera's Plain Bagel.

A perfect Monday afternoon treat for those who wish to meet regularly. It is toasted to perfection and with a slab of free Land O Lakes butter you are sure to enjoy the bready treat.

3. iTunes Song.

You can download a whole song for a buck and get a penny back. Now that's penny smart! You can enjoy Amy Weinhouse and not feel like you are giving her too much drug money.

2. Popcorn at the Movies.

On Tuesdays if you bring a buck with you to the theatre you can buy yourself a bag of popcorn for only one tenth of a sawbuck. I say, a movie with a bag of popcorn goodness can only be delightful.

1. A King Sized Candy Bar.

Love it. You not only get to eat something fantastic you get to consider yourself a king for the few moments you indulge in the cholcolatey goodness. Sure George was against Kings, but in this case I think the mother land wins as you gulp down the beauty of excessively large candies.

*Please note I did NOT include Dollar Store Crap on my list. The rationale is quite obvious: They tax you so you end up spending $1.08! Patewy!